Wednesday, 23 July 2014

LIFE: Weekly Ramblings

"Those around us rarely understand. That does not make it untrue in the least, as we know." --Zen Gardner
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Since arriving home from 9 months of gallivanting around the globe, I can't say settling back into English life has been a ride in the park but then again, it hasn't been sheer hell.

Let me explain - I think in our 20's we constantly overanalyse who we are, where we are, what we are doing or should I say who we should be, where we should be and what we should be doing. I partially blame social media for this; we spend so much time reading about other peoples highlights, sometimes even comparing ourselves on a bad day to our fellow graduates or 'that person we went to school with.' I feel the difference between 22 and 23 is actually quite vast; this may seem like a very silly statement but at 22 I felt almost child-like still in a sense, whereas at 23, it's now 2 years since I finished university, I've been and done the whole travelling thing and I'm ready to find some stability and, dare I say it, some kind of routine.

You all know by now, I'm a worrier by nature and I've spent the first three years of my 20's worrying about whether I'll ever find complete happiness (a myth, nobody is happy 100% of the time, that's life), a company/business that will give me the chance to prove exactly what I can do and how I can flourish given the opportunity, a person I can happily build a life with and whether I'm 'doing the right thing'. What is the right thing? Exactly, who knows what the right thing is! There are so many different paths to choose, so many different opportunities to accept or to turn down - why do we have to spend what feels like an eternity in education, find a graduate job, find a partner, get married and have children - not everybody is doing that anymore. I graduated, I got a great job in Marketing for 12 months, I then decided to go travelling the world to experience something different and in doing so, I met the guy I love on a completely different hemisphere - we are soon to be moving in together and now, only now, am I looking for that job that I really want to settle in to. 

The other side of the 20's-worrying-cycle are the silly things, not the jobs/partners/adult things, but the other things - the friends you feel like you have to stay in touch with (even when that 'spark' isn't necessarily there anymore), being skinny, whether or not you're going 'out out' this weekend, missing out on things - you know what I'm getting at. 

I know some of you will be with me when I say we spend far too much time worrying. I've done with worrying about making sure I'm keeping to 'The Timeframe', what is that? Is it 'a thing' anymore? I will be the first to throw my hands up and admit, I have off days - I even have off and on days (note: sporadic moods) but I am realising as I make my way through my 20's that some things just aren't worth the worry anymore. I've stopped thinking I'm 'missing out', stopped worrying if I don't make plans, stopped stressing over friendships that aren't as they were, stopped thinking 'should I be at a different point now?' and most of all, stopped comparing where I am to where other people are. 

I said whilst I was away, that my Unorganised Chaos really has changed shape since I began it back in 2012 but I kinda like the way it's going; just like I am (although, with posts like this, I quite often lose the point I initially started out to make - but isn't that life!)

In other news - I've started yoga again and am thoroughly enjoying myself. It's helping me remain focused, calmer and I generally feel a lot healthier (maybe that's also down to my incredibly healthy eating which I am VERY proud of myself for).

Right now, I'm focusing on myself (in the least selfish way possible) - I'm making time for myself, taking time out for yoga or a little reflection (even if it comes out as a long, rambled blog post that I want to apologise to you for if you have made it to this point without thinking 'SHUT UP') and generally looking after myself. You know, drinking plenty of water, sleeping, little things like taking my makeup off and moisturising at night. It all sounds very simple but doing these kinds of little things is really making a difference to me.

I'm learning slowly, or maybe I'm just growing up but things seem to be making a little more sense in that overactive brain of mine.


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