Tuesday, 11 November 2014

LET'S TALK: Happiness and What's Important


Our twenties are difficult, really bloody difficult. Yes, they're also fun but, at times, it feels like there is so much pressure! Pressure to be successful, pressure to be skinny, pressure to be at the right stage (whatever that is!) I believe that, although we put so much pressure on ourselves, the media adds to that pressure (and now, I believe social media does too!) - magazines shouting about the latest diets, the best workouts, how to drop a dress size etc. You all know by now, I am a big advocator of exercise and a healthy diet BUT it needs to be done for you and not to be able to compare yourself to somebody else or to mirror the latest 'hot celeb'. That's when it's not okay and I seriously think that people would be a little happier if they stopped feeling so pressured to compare themselves or be compared to others - in any instance, not just physical appearance. With social media pressures on the increase, as a blogger, it's hard not to think 'I wish I was as pretty or as successful or invited to all of these events like [insert blogger here]'. But then I think - I'm happy - happy with the amount of readers I have (anybody other than my Mum is flattering!) There's no need to think social media popularity or having a top 10 blog is the route to happiness.

I've mentioned before, I'm a huge fan of both Laura at Superlatively Rude and Hannah Gale. These kinda bloggers/writers are my favourites - they aren't afraid to tell it like it is and to point out what other people are thinking but in a witty and endearing way that makes me check their blogs religiously. They're successful, smart and brilliant - and deservedly so because they don't post anything they don't believe in.

Hannah recently posted a questionnaire relating to happiness - I responded and it got me thinking how things shift with time and with age. The basic jist of it was what we, in our twenties, find important in comparison to when we were younger.

As children - jobs, families, friends children, degree, money, marriage - are they important? Well I think, often children are led to believe in an idealistic view of education, having a good job, getting married, having a family, settling down etc. But happiness? I'm not so sure. As a child (generalising - not in all cases, I know) there is no responsibility, no worries and well, so at that age, there's a different level and different understanding of happiness.  

As an adult - I guess, to many, the above are still what so many of us deem most important. I believe the importance of them to us also amounts to the pressure we, and others, put on us to meet these 'life goals' - can we call them that? Probably not. Everybody's priorities are different but our own priorities and things that we feel are important definitely change from childhood to adulthood.

After several failed relationships, eliminating things that have been negative impacts or just plain made me unhappy, I've realised that  what's important, first and foremost is my own happiness. I spoke about me time and learning to be selfish - and that's part of it.

I believe wholeheartedly what I said - by trying to please others, I seriously believe - over time - you stop pleasing yourself. I am by no means a selfish person (I don't think so anyway - I would freely admit it if I was) but now - I care about my own happiness.

I want to settle down, get married, have kids - and I'm not talking in 10 years time - I want to find that person to build a life with - I'm an old soul - I would rather spend my weekends baking, cooking, walking the dog, going out for brunch, strolling round the local farmers markets, drinking cups of tea overlooking my garden and the fields surrounding it (dream world here...) than getting paraletically drunk Fridays, Saturdays..sometimes Sundays and spending the hungover moments in bed, so ill from the previous nights antics that I can't eat, move and am crippled with cysititis (I've suffered with what I believe to be interstitial cystitis for around 5 years now and it is hideous, especially after drinking) - plus, I've spent my weekdays...my weekends...getting paraletically drunk at uni, at college - I'm by no means old at almost 24 but it's just not where I see my life anymore.

My Let's Talk posts always end up as a rambled, off the point jumble of words...

I'm a big believer in putting your happiness at the top of your priorities list - closely followed by friends and family. My job is also high up there because I kinda love it. I'm very lucky to wake up happy every morning that I can go into my office or attend an event and not feel burdened to be there. Money? Well, we all need money to get by but it can't, and shouldn't, be the most important thing. It really is true - you can have all of the money in the world and it doesn't make you truly happy.

We only get one chance at really living but we can spend our whole lives searching for happiness in the wrong places.

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it's all that matters.”
― Audrey Hepburn


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